What Type of Valentine’s Day Partner Are You?
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View video editor Sela Kincaid’s accompanying editorial from issue 4 here.
Shoot Your Arrow
Valentine’s Day is separated by gender, creating unequal expectations.
Everyone spends money. Money on dates, food, clothes and gifts; women and men wanting to receive and give to their other half. Sharing roles in planning an event, especially Valentine’s Day is important. Women need to take charge and treat their significant other, as well as being treated by their other half.
February is seen as a month of romance, filled with chocolates and flowers. Valentine’s Day is the peak of this month of romance, spreading love to all the couples in the United States. St. Valentine is seen as the inspiration for this holiday. The story goes that in Rome young men were banned from getting married, with the idea that single men were better soldiers. St. Valentine, a priest, believed this was wrong; he continued to perform marriages in secret, later having to pay for this with his life, according to History.com.
Men are traditionally seen as the planners and gift-givers of Valentine’s Day. In a survey taken by Bankrate, men planned to spend around $339, where women planned to only spend $64. It is clear that men are expected to bring in the big bucks for Valentine’s Day, where as women simply spend just a bit below the average date, usually costing $102, according to USAToday. This is what needs to change, to make the new norm a lower and more equal spending limit.
Women are very capable of taking on this task. Take charge and treat your significant other, why not show love equally through a night together. Take Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to have a special night, meaning a lot to the both of you. Not just leaving a couple with one-sided happiness and the other broke from overpaying.
Overspending does not make for a great Valentine’s Day. To enjoy relationships there shouldn’t be a focus on money, but instead time together. Valentine’s Day is based on love, “a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person,” as defined by Webster Dictionary. This is not something bought, but instead, something shared. Women and men can spend less and create a more meaningful event by doing less “store-bought” experiences.
To take charge and still have the money afterward, you might opt for the less expensive route. This could be something like going ice skating and cooking dinner at home, setting up a game night and having other couples come over and play. Maybe even going completely homemade and painting pictures together; maybe even following a Bob Ross tutorial. Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be extremely romantic, you can give or get gifts in many different ways. What matters the most is time together and equal parts.
This Valentines Day, take charge and stand for what you want. Whether it is to buy dinner for your significant other, cook a meal together and gift homemade presents or spending time together. Women and men can have equal involvement in all of these ideas. Allowing one side to pay and create this scene is unfair and can only express effort from one side of the relationship. If women step up to take the responsibility of demonstrating romance and care for their significant other, Valentine’s Day would be more meaningful. Go back to the roots of what Valentine’s Day is for, the love and connection between two people to create an equally shared holiday that brings both sides to the forefront.