After my friends and I made an impulse purchase of $300 tickets to cheer on the Chiefs in the AFC Championship game, I found myself as a broke, bandwagon fan.

Call me un-American, but I watch zero football. My dad is from Germany so my family watches soccer, and the only times I have been to Arrowhead Stadium were for the One Direction and Ed Sheeran concerts. However, as the Chiefs improved their record this season we found ourselves turning on more of the games on than in past years. Rather than actually watching, I more or less just checked to see if they were winning.

So there I was, out $300 for a game I knew slim to none about. However, I thought I knew more than I actually did. Don’t worry, I’m not as clueless as I’m making it sound. I know what a touchdown is and the extra point field goal. I knew that a normal field goal is three points and where the end zone is. I knew the quarterbacks and what they do. So yes, I had minimal knowledge about the game, but it was something.

Fast forward to game day. The only piece of red clothing I could find was a scrunchie. After putting on my mom’s knee-length winter coat and some jeans, I thought that would be enough to brave the forecasted negative degree wind chills for five hours.

I was extremely wrong.

I discovered that I am very inexperienced when in it comes to dressing for football games, so after receiving several disapproving looks and comments, I was graciously leant the pinkest ski pants I have ever seen. My parents literally threw hand warmers, blankets and a carpet square to stand on at me as I walked out the door after I claimed I didn’t need them. Parents are always right. Take the hand warmers.

After waiting in line for what felt like half an hour just to get inside the gates, we realized that we were on the complete opposite side of where we needed to be and had to run and weave through the crowds of people to make it to our seats. We just missed the anthem and I heard the flyover overhead as we ran, which would have been cool to see.

During the first half, I had absolutely no idea what was going on, proving I was overly confident in my knowledge of football. I leaned over to ask my friend several questions, including which team even had the ball at that point. I blame the location of our seats, section 319 in the corner of the nosebleeds because I couldn’t see what was happening on the field, but everyone around me knew what was happening so I don’t know if that is a valid excuse.

I know this was the biggest game for the Chiefs and everyone wanted to see them in the Super Bowl, but the atmosphere just wasn’t electric. Are you sure it’s the loudest stadium in the world? Even when they scored a touchdown it wasn’t overly exciting for me. Maybe I was too focused on making sure my toes didn’t fall off or trying to understand why the downs kept starting over, but either way, it just wasn’t for me.

People talk about how boring soccer is to watch, but I would like to take a moment to defend soccer in that respect. I don’t know how a game where a bunch of guys smash into each other during plays that last roughly five seconds altogether, and where the clock keeps stopping can be any more entertaining than soccer. In soccer games, there are 45 minutes of nonstop back and forth playing. During the football game, I paid $300 to watch more of the players standing there and waiting for the next play than the minutes they actually played. No offense to avid football fans, but how is that fun?

Once we got to the second half, it got a lot more exciting because the Chiefs were actually back in the game. I realized that we might actually get to play in the Super Bowl and it would be a big moment. Until I also realized the NFL created the most absurd overtime rules, and a coin toss ultimately decided the game. Therefore, another reason to not enjoy football.  

After the game finished and all was said and done, and I could finally feel my feet again, we trekked back to the car. It was only then, after five hours in the cold, that I received a football crash course in the most unorganized mess we all know as the Arrowhead parking lot. I still only slightly understand what downs are and can name maybe four people on the team, but it sure made me realize that I do not, in fact, understand football.

In the end, I decided one game is enough and I don’t know if I’ll come back for another one anytime soon. College tailgates will be fun but as for the actual games, I’ll be needing some more explaining. Until then, catch me watching the Super Bowl, or at least the halftime show, at home on my couch.